Now Is Different

            I’m going to break away from the Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics for one post because I heard a Carbon Leaf song I liked in high school called “Torn to Tattered” and it resonated with me. The lyrics are in plain text and my comments are emboldened. This post will touch on a few themes that interest me right now: my former friend, former religion, and parenting thoughts. In a classroom somewhere alone I feel more alone than I ever have—when it comes to the social sphere, not my husband Alex or my son Felix. It’s partly because I’m waking up to the fact that the relationships in my head (largely, relationships from my former college or a mental amoeba of my college community) are not as real as they seemed to be. Take former friend Alice, for example. I thought we were still best friends but she was drifting. Yeah, she should have told me and tried to work things out long before she opened up. But I also could have been more sensitive ...

Hi! I’m Courtney! Most of my days revolve around my toddler Felix, who is not far from two. I am doing professional organizing once a week so that I can stay at home most of the time with my son. I may become a psychotherapist one day if I return to work and pursue licensure in Social Work. I had Felix right after getting my Master of Social Work and was like “peace out, I want to be with my son for all of early childhood.” I am absorbed by the following interests, which are likely to appear in ensuing posts: -minimalism -parenting, especially peaceful, conscious parenting -the Enneagram of Personality and other tools for understanding personality and temperament, such as the construct “HSP” or highly sensitive person -parting ways with the religious group of my past -building a community and processing a semi-recent split-up with a former friend -and just general navel-gazing… Today is my birthday, and I’m devoting this year to the idea that I am a creato...